"How Avoid the 5 Most Common Heart-Breaking
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+james+patrick+rangers+jersey ,
Intimacy -Destroying And Relationship-Wrecking Communication
Mistakes"
Mistake ,3# Message Assuming
In the previous two
articles, we discussed the first two of the 5 most Common Relationship
Communication Mistakes: Case Building and Story Telling. The first choice we are
faced with in communication happens so fast... we don't even know we are making
a choice. But, here it is, deciding whether we want to build a case against
somebody, or build a connection with them.
The second mistake is Story
Telling. This is when we tell ourselves a story about an some thing that
happened (without checking the facts) -- and the believe it. We see our lover
come to bed with flannel pajamas on
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+jt+miller+rangers+jersey ,
decide that that's the end of our sex life and no longer find us attractive, and
then begin pouting about it. We believe our own story about the other person,
forgetting the fact that it just snowed for the first time today and winter has
set in.
The third mistake is Message Assuming. There are two sides to
this mistake. The first side is we assume we actually understand what the person
is saying in the way that we intended. The second side is assuming that the
person we are talking to... actually understands our message in the way that we
intended.
If I talk about a desk to a student of mine, they may
associate the word with the place where they are held captive six hours a day.
To me it is the place where great thoughts and ideas come to life. So, just the
one little word 'desk' can evoke a tremendously different emotional response in
two different people.
Then imagine trying to have a complete
conversation with hundreds of words. Really, it's a wonder that our
communication ever succeeds at all.
So what can we do to avoid
misunderstanding? We can ask the other person to repeat what they understood.
That way we can hear from them directly what's going on in their
mind.
The communication method of nonviolent communication has four
distinct steps that help avoid misunderstanding: state the
observation
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+henrik+lundqvist+rangers+jersey ,
say how it makes you feel, say what need of yours it meets or doesn't meet, then
make a request. The most useful request to make is to ask, "Would you be willing
to tell me what your heard me say?"
I watched Paul teach the Language of
Peace in the Jefferson County jail one day. He role-played a situation with a
woman, whom I will call Cecilia,
who was very upset with her 'cell-y' or
cell mate. The cell mate was touching and moving Cecilia's things which offended
her.
Paul was role playing Cecilia and Cecilia was playing the cell
mate. Paul
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+glenn+anderson+rangers+jersey ,
as Cecilia, said, "When you move my things I feel very frightened because I have
a need for autonomy for me and safety for my things. Would you be willing to
tell me what you heard me say?"
"Yeah, you said I'm an asshole for
touching your things."
Paul responded, calmly, "Thank you." After
all
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+filip+chytil+rangers+jersey ,
she had answered his question as he asked. Paul continued, "Well, really I feel
angry because I have a need for protecting my belongings. They're all I've got
with me here. Would you tell me what you heard me say?"
"Yeah," she threw
back at him, "you want me out of your cell."
"Thank you," replied Paul.
And then he tried again. It took almost eight rounds of trying to express
feelings and needs for the woman to repeat the actual words he was saying to
her. We all cheered when she finally repeated it. What was even more interesting
is that she wasn't even role playing herself
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+eddie+giacomin+rangers+jersey ,
but was responding in the way she imagined her 'cell-y' would hear the
requests.
Without this process, though, Paul would have moved on to his
next statement, never knowing whether or not the other person understood what he
was saying.
Another technique for avoiding the Message Assume mistake is
the 40 word rule. Some people think that saying more words will equal better
understanding, but it doesn't work that way. Often, more words equal a bigger
and messier misunderstanding.
Here's the rule: Never go more than 40
words without checking in with the other person to check for understanding:
"Would you tell me what you heard me say?" And always thank the person for their
effort in answering the question. When it's really important that you are
understood
http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+david+desharnais+rangers+jersey ,
going slowly is the only way to go.
And here's an assignment: three times
over the next few days, after making a statement, ask the person who's been
listening, "Would you tell me what you heard me say?" You'll be amazed at the
difference between what you said and what they heard.
To get your own
copy of the Special Report: The 5 Relationship-Wrecking Mistakes - How to
Identify and More Importantly Avoid Them, just go to our web site now.
Author's
Resource Box
Kristin Denton & Paul Sterling teach Relationship Communication
Skills -- Live Seminars or Tele-Classes including 4 Steps To Instant Intimacy
& Understanding- 5 Relationship-Wrecking Mistakes-- To get a free copy of
The 5 Mistakes Report go to http: freeaccess
Article Source:
Anemia is a condition that arises when red blood cells in the blood turn out
to be lesser as compared to the normal count or it is also a condition, wherein
the hemoglobin in the blood reduces. When this happens http://www.nhlrangersteamshop.com/adidas+chris+kreider+rangers+jersey ,
there will be lack of oxygen to the organs to the body. This in turn can lead to
a wide range of medical consequences. Anemia can be mild or short-term that can
be easily treated by taking healthy diet, there are also some types that can be
severe and that cannot be treated easily. However, herbal treatment to get rid
of anemia can help with addressing the d. Cheap NHL
Jerseys Cheap
Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys
China Wholesale Jerseys
China Wholesale Soccer
Jerseys Cheap Jerseys
China Cheap Jerseys
China Wholesale
Jerseys Wholesale NFL
Jerseys Wholesale
Jerseys
The Wall